Recently through an extended bout of malaria, I was forced
to see things from a different perspective, namely from a position of weakness,
utter dependence, and a rearrangement of daily priorities. I was forced back
into the basics of existence, managing nausea, pain and weakness, forcing
myself to eat and drink and sleeping lots! But along with this, since I didn't
feel good enough to do anything, not even read, I was also given the
opportunity to contemplate, meditate and pray. I often found my thoughts
turning to others who are suffering, to the poor, to the helpless among us, and
to the position of weakness.
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Meanwhile things in the leadership training programs also
seemed to be at a standstill. Follow-up
calls to the Diocese-based TEE programs weren't opening up to any further
visits and although some groups affirmed that they were meeting and
progressing, we couldn't tell how well and alive the program really was! The
Bible college continued to struggle with inadequate funds, few students, and
little movement toward resolution of the many faceted problems it is facing. In
addition, we were feeling discouraged about the generally low state of
spirituality in the churches and were asking ourselves and others in
leadership, “What has happened?”
Missionaries aren't used to approaching their work from a
position of weakness or powerlessness. Usually we find it in our power to
manage, make things move, or persuade others to cooperate. But now God has
brought us to a different perspective, that of working from a position of
weakness. From this perspective, we realize our inadequacies, our inability to
have answers, our absolute dependence on waiting for God to move, heal, and
provide. And from this position, we sometimes must resign ourselves to give up
Doing, and agree to just Be his children and his servants. When this happens,
we tend to slow down and then are able to notice the small positive ways God is
working in our lives and the lives of people around us. Things such as the
training Joe was asked to give to 4 of the 5 students at the Bible college. In
spite of the small number, their participation was good and they seem excited
about being able to return home and form a study group of their own. Also, we
have friendships with individuals who are sincerely seeking God’s way and are
also concerned about the negative things in the churches. And we are refreshed by the joy on the faces
of the children we see every day. God is teaching us to recognize Him as our provider, healer
and sustainer in every situation and to Be Thankful. Gloria
